How you know
You can explain why the team needs you to do this. You can't explain why you want to.
Something to say
“Give me a week before I answer. I want to work out whether I want this, or just want somebody to do it.”
It's easier to spot this afterwards than at the time. Give it a week before you decide it isn't yours.
Two ways in
One is a habit. The other is one person.
Neither is the better one. Pick whichever matches the thing that is actually bothering you.
On your own
The habit, not the incident.
Being needed is a real reason. It isn't the same as wanting it, and a job taken only for the first one gets handed back eventually — usually at a worse moment than this one.
- Write your reasons down and mark the ones that are about you. If none are, wait.
- Ask for time rather than deciding in the room. The pressure in the room isn't anybody being unkind. It's just the room.
- Say what would make this a yes. Sometimes it's one thing, and sometimes that thing is available.
With somebody in mind
The same friction, one person.
The person asking would rather have a slow yes than a quick one they have to undo in March. They won't say so, because they'd also rather have it today.
- Say the awkward sentence out loud: I'm not sure yet whether I want this, or just don't want it left undone.
- Tell them what you'd be giving up to do it. Then it's a trade you're both looking at, rather than one you quietly absorb.
One of these, not all of them. And in your own words, because ours won't sound like you.
Where this sharpens
It lands hardest with two of the five.
Not because anybody is difficult. These are just the two who reach for something different first, at the same moment.
Which one is yours
You are reading The Designer. Is that actually you?
Ten situations, about three minutes, no sign-up. It tells you which of the five you reach for first — and which version of this page is yours.
Five readings
This plays differently depending on what you reach for first.
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Reading a dimension is not a claim that you are one.