How you know
You've said yes to the step up and you still haven't asked what you'd stop doing.
Something to say
“What would I actually be doing with my weeks? Not the job description — the weeks.”
It's easier to spot this afterwards than at the time. Give it a week before you decide it isn't yours.
Two ways in
One is a habit. The other is one person.
Neither is the better one. Pick whichever matches the thing that is actually bothering you.
On your own
The habit, not the incident.
A bigger job isn't a freer one. More of it usually means less of the thing you took it for, unless somebody has gone out of their way to protect that.
- Ask what an ordinary week looks like before you ask what the title is.
- Name the one thing you need to keep doing, and get it agreed out loud before you say yes.
- Say what you're willing to give up. If the answer is nothing, this isn't the step yet.
With somebody in mind
The same friction, one person.
The person offering it isn't hiding the dull half. They've just stopped noticing it, the way you stop noticing your own commute.
- Ask them to walk you through an ordinary week, hour by hour. Not the job description. A Tuesday.
- Ask what comes off your plate, and get an answer before you give them yours.
One of these, not all of them. And in your own words, because ours won't sound like you.
Where this sharpens
It lands hardest with two of the five.
Not because anybody is difficult. These are just the two who reach for something different first, at the same moment.
Which one is yours
You are reading The Dreamer. Is that actually you?
Ten situations, about three minutes, no sign-up. It tells you which of the five you reach for first — and which version of this page is yours.
Five readings
This plays differently depending on what you reach for first.
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Reading a dimension is not a claim that you are one.