How you know
You're already doing the bigger job and nobody's agreed that you are.
Something to say
“I've been acting as though this is mine. Can we say out loud that it is, or that it isn't?”
It's easier to spot this afterwards than at the time. Give it a week before you decide it isn't yours.
Two ways in
One is a habit. The other is one person.
Neither is the better one. Pick whichever matches the thing that is actually bothering you.
On your own
The habit, not the incident.
Taking ground works right up until somebody disputes it. Then never having agreed anything is the whole of your position.
- Say out loud what you've taken on, and ask for it to be confirmed or handed back.
- Ask what the job actually gets to decide. A title with no decisions in it costs more than it gives.
- Check who else thought that part was theirs. You're often standing where somebody was quietly already standing.
With somebody in mind
The same friction, one person.
There's usually somebody who thought a piece of this was theirs and hasn't said so. You didn't take it on purpose, which will make no difference whatsoever to how it feels.
- Go to that person before you go and get it confirmed. Confirmed over their head is the version nobody recovers from.
- Ask which part they want back, and mean the question. If the answer is none, you've got the thing you were missing: somebody who agrees out loud.
One of these, not all of them. And in your own words, because ours won't sound like you.
Where this sharpens
It lands hardest with two of the five.
Not because anybody is difficult. These are just the two who reach for something different first, at the same moment.
Which one is yours
You are reading The Driver. Is that actually you?
Ten situations, about three minutes, no sign-up. It tells you which of the five you reach for first — and which version of this page is yours.
Five readings
This plays differently depending on what you reach for first.
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Reading a dimension is not a claim that you are one.