How you know
You're getting more interested in the conversation the further it gets from the thing that started it.
Something to say
“Let me answer the actual question first. Then there's a bigger thing I want to come back to.”
It's easier to spot this afterwards than at the time. Give it a week before you decide it isn't yours.
Two ways in
One is a habit. The other is one person.
Neither is the better one. Pick whichever matches the thing that is actually bothering you.
On your own
The habit, not the incident.
The bigger view is usually right, and almost always early. The work is sitting on it for ninety seconds.
- Answer the small question in one sentence before you offer the bigger view at all.
- Give the bigger idea a name out loud, so it lands as a second thing and not a replacement for the first.
- If the room is tense, write the bigger idea down instead of saying it. It'll still be there afterwards.
With somebody in mind
The same friction, one person.
Somebody pulling the conversation back isn't turning down your idea. They're telling you the small thing is still open.
- Ask what would count as settled on the thing in front of you, then settle that.
- Say when you'll come back to the bigger thing. Then come back to it.
One of these, not all of them. And in your own words, because ours won't sound like you.
Where this sharpens
It lands hardest with two of the five.
Not because anybody is difficult. These are just the two who reach for something different first, at the same moment.
Which one is yours
You are reading The Dreamer. Is that actually you?
Ten situations, about three minutes, no sign-up. It tells you which of the five you reach for first — and which version of this page is yours.
Five readings
This plays differently depending on what you reach for first.
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Reading a dimension is not a claim that you are one.