How you know
You've started solving it and they haven't finished describing it.
Something to say
“Tell me what you think breaks. I won't start fixing anything until you're done.”
It's easier to spot this afterwards than at the time. Give it a week before you decide it isn't yours.
Two ways in
One is a habit. The other is one person.
Neither is the better one. Pick whichever matches the thing that is actually bothering you.
On your own
The habit, not the incident.
You'll still be faster than almost everybody. The work is being fast at the right problem.
- Ask what they think breaks, and wait for the whole answer. Count to three after they stop.
- Say the problem back before you offer anything, so you find out whether you actually heard it.
- Say which one this is: something that might go wrong, or something that has already stopped the work. Treating the first like the second reads as panic, and the other way round reads as not listening.
With somebody in mind
The same friction, one person.
Somebody raising a worry slowly isn't getting in the way of the delivery. They're often the reason it survives.
- Ask what they'd need to see to be comfortable, rather than what they want changed.
- Agree one checkpoint instead of reopening the decision, so the worry has somewhere to go.
One of these, not all of them. And in your own words, because ours won't sound like you.
Where this sharpens
It lands hardest with two of the five.
Not because anybody is difficult. These are just the two who reach for something different first, at the same moment.
Which one is yours
You are reading The Driver. Is that actually you?
Ten situations, about three minutes, no sign-up. It tells you which of the five you reach for first — and which version of this page is yours.
Five readings
This plays differently depending on what you reach for first.
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Reading a dimension is not a claim that you are one.